A Burner Birthday

This weekend, my Burning Man friends and I drove three hours upstate into the Catskill Mountains to celebrate a fellow burner's birthday. We arrived at

the 10-acre farm

rental Friday night and spent the rest of the evening exploring all the nooks and crannies throughout the main house and the massive barn (think creepy dolls, taxidermy collections, and loads of odds and ends). In between introductions with new arrivals, we warmed up by the campfire gazing up at the stars and later moved to the toasty fireplace in the living room where we curled up and shared stories. I wanted to adopt everyone I met as a new friend. And the two dear friends who whisked me away to that magical weekend, I silently adopted them as brothers.

Saturday morning we were finally able to see what exactly we had driven into. We saw the pastures, the cows, and the woods that extended beyond the creek running through the property. The trees were mostly bare, but the scenery was still so calm and beautiful – such a departure from the city. I spent the day munching on food and catnapping in corners in my kitty ears, tail, and my red riding hood cape because wearing those things sends me to my happy place. When a group of us took a walk through the woods, I felt like a storybook character climbing over fences, crouching underneath low branches, jumping on stones, and walking on giant fallen trees to cross the creek. Afterwards, I took to the open pastures and ran with my blazing red cape trailing behind me. I just ran and ran because space,

so

much space.

During the day, the kitchen was a busy spot with most of us whipping up meals and treats for our housemates. The birthday boy's boyfriend baked the most delicious pork ever...for six hours. You can imagine how dizzy we were from the smells coming out of that oven. As for my offering, I baked a four-layer raspberry chocolate cake. It was my tallest concoction yet and I was just thankful that a) there was enough chocolate frosting to cover the whole thing and b) the leaning tower of cake didn't lead to a disastrous ending.

Saturday night, we blew up the sky with fireworks, ran around the dark field with sparklers, and burned a giant wooden 31. After cake time, we headed into the "party barn" and danced under the strobe lights until late into the night. It wasn't until "Single Ladies" came on that I finally realized that I was the only single lady there. I felt so comfortable around the group that I hadn't even noticed that everyone else was coupled off or a gay guy. Still, that didn't stop the crew from joining me in trying to remember the steps to Bey's song and running up the barn walls.

Towards the end of my "night out," the birthday boy and I sat on a platform while we watched the rest continuing to dance in the dark. We talked about my growing up in New York City, how it felt to be in this place with such wonderful people, we talked about Burning Man, how difficult it was for me to miss it this year, my wondering if I'll ever return, and his theory on the "trick" behind Burning Man's success and why that same formula can work outside of the playa. He also didn't know some of the attendees until that very weekend, including me, but he knew that his friends would know who would be perfect to bring along to such an event.

He then smiled at me and said, "When I first saw you walking into this barn in your red coat, I said, 'I don't know who she is, but I

love

her.'"

Later on, he asked what I wish I were acknowledged for and I said, my ability to connect with others and my creativity. And he did, based off of the 24 hours we'd known each other.

When "

Genesis

," my favorite Grimes song, came on, I squealed, so delighted that someone else loved it as much as I do. But then this sudden pang hit me because it was a song A. had introduced me to and one I'd shared with him, letting him watch me dance all over our room to it. So, in my red cape and hood, I closed my eyes and danced in the dark, allowing myself to feel both sad for what's over and grateful for whatever has led me to this moment in a barn in the middle of nowhere. I've kept fearing that my wild and fun days are over simply because he was such a huge source of it – the trips, the parties, the people we'd met – but that night I realized that there are so many more wondrous moments to leap into and that I can be pulled towards them just as I am, without forcing anything or trying to be something else. I danced and danced in this mixture of happiness and pain, nothing but music in my head. I was going to be okay, I needed to trust that I could still lead myself to whatever I wanted to experience, and I was going to be cared about by so many. The stories and my adventures, they are so not over.

Images:

Shawn McGinniss

Gone Camping + 12 Gorgeous Teepees and Tents

Today A. and I are heading out on a camping trip with some of my friends. We'll be "roughing it" in Delaware and enjoying a weekend of gabbing, hiking, stargazing, and eating way too much grilled meat. I sure hope we have absolutely no reception out there so we can forget the rest of the world even exists.

Aside from giving me a serious craving for s'mores, one other thing this trip has done is reignited my wish to own a pretty tent or teepee. Sure, I don't have a back yard or a patio to plop one on, but I'd love to have one set up in a corner of our apartment. It could be my little reading and meditating nook or serve as a quiet hideaway when I need some alone time. (No boys allowed!) Below are some of the sweetest tents I've found. Would you ever get one for your home?

1.

Mokkasin

| 2.

Bodie and Fou

| 3.

The Look Factory

| 4.

Stout Tent

5.

House Inhabit

| 6.

Land of Nod

| 7.

Sugar Shacks Teepee

| 8.

Henry's House

9.

Marlowe + Jay

| 10.

Tip Top Teepee Shop

| 11.

Lotus Belle

| 12.

RH Baby & Child

Image:

ohpioneer.com

Decompression

Part of the post Burning Man ritual is to decompress once you've re-entered the Default World, also known as real life. As hard as I tried to avoid taking my phone off airplane mode on the 10 hour drive back to Los Angeles from Nevada, I eventually relented and was soon scrolling through some 75 messages. It's scary how quickly I plunged right back into the frantic clicking, swiping, and liking when just a day ago I couldn't have cared less about anything going on beyond Black Rock City's trash fence.

Settling back into the day-to-day was much quicker this time. Last year, I walked around NYC feeling sad that pedestrians weren't covered in lights or furry costumes and that everyone was just so quick to get somewhere. And the

MOOP

! Oh God, litter and dirt everywhere. I wanted to be back at Burning Man so badly. Then the year goes on and eventually you almost forget about what it was like to be out there, but that happens just in time to make that journey once again. A. and I went with the notion that we probably wouldn't be returning in 2015 because we want to experience other corners of the world and when one of us only gets two weeks of vacation a year, that time off should be well-considered. Well now I think we do want to return.

It's fun to tell friends and family about your Burning Man experience, show off videos and photos, and try to get them to grasp what an incredible place this is (it'll always be one of those "You had to be there" spots). Still, there's nothing like getting together with other burners and

exchanging

 stories and discoveries because there's just so much that one person could miss. This past Saturday, A. and I visited a friend I've known through the Etsy NY team who lives just a couple blocks away. We've been living so close for about nine months and couldn't manage to meet up...until we randomly bumped into each other on the playa.* A burner for about eight years, he's seen some things and so five of us gathered to chat about this year's burn, favorite moments from previous years, and finally watch that  

Malcolm in the Middle

Burning Man episode

. A. and I left his house happy and wondering if we shouldn't return next year and really do it up. Then again, that's exactly how we felt last time and before we knew it, we were packing up to head out without accomplishing any of those grand plans. I'm sure that itch will strike again in full force when we meet up with 100 or so burners this Sunday at a Post Playa Picnic in Central Park.

*It's funny how frequently you'll run into people you know even though you're in a sea of 65,000 people in a 5+ square mile area. There were a handful of folks we knew would be out there and did we see any by actually visiting their camps? Nope! We saw them through chance meetings while biking around and attending random events. It's always a happy surprise.