Playa Names


Out on the playa it's common practice to adopt a new name for the week. The thought is to cast aside what ties you to the outside world, or "reality camp," and allow yourself the freedom to be your truest self while at Burning Man. It sounds a little hippie, but it's also nice to consider that you don't have to go by the name with which you were born. Lord knows I've spent most of my life wanting a do-over in that category. Some names are gifted while others choose to rename their own selves.

A few weeks before we left, A. and I gifted each other new names. I named him Kinsey, after the famous researcher of human sexuality, and he called me Quill because of my writerly abilities and the prickly mascot of my stationery company Porcupine Hugs. Granted I only gave out my playa name a few times - though I'm sure people thought Dorkys was my made-up moniker - but it was fun to toy with the idea of being a different persona out there.

If you could choose a new name what would it be? A., named after two princes, grew up wishing he was Tom and I figured if I became famous under a stage name, the tabloids would have a field day if my original name was ever exposed.

The Logistics Behind Burning Man


Now that we've gotten the sentimental parts of Burning Man out of the way, I wanted to talk about about some of the logistics of living in the desert for a week. While it was definitely a lot less rough than I was expecting, we've already made notes of what did and didn't work this year so that we'll be much more comfortable the next time around.

There's no predicting the weather out there so you must come ready for anything: sweltering heat, frigid nights, rain, hail, dust storms, you name it. The desert does whatever she wants and you'd better be prepared out there. This year, I know I lucked out since the nights were still so warm, a coat was rarely necessary. The days though were a monster and a half. Even though we were still tired come morning, there was no choice but to get out of our tent early unless we wanted to continue baking in our sleep. A tent fan will be necessary for the future.

We also ate better than I expected, sometimes even better than what I eat in my own apartment. Pre-cooked Jack Daniels pulled beef made the best sandwiches. Pasta with ground beef, hearty breakfasts of eggs, bacon, and avocados. Fruit cups, grapes, squeezable applesauce pouches, and coconut water were refreshing out there. Things we didn't even touch: crackers with peanut butter, trail mix, and other dry foods that would make your mouth even more parched. It also didn't help that our camp stove and propane tanks failed us so we had to rely on the kindness of our neighbors and ended up not cooking things that might have taken more gas than necessary. (I'm sure they wouldn't have minded though.) Lesson learned: test all new survival equipment before driving into the middle of nowhere for a week.

Because the whole city and event is such a communal effort, the shared spaces were impressively clean. We tried to keep MOOP (matter out of place and my new favorite acronym) off the ground. I hardly ever entered a port-o-potty and was horrified by what was hiding inside. The floors and seats were clean, there was plenty of toilet paper to go around (though I'd always carry a bit of one-ply just in case), and I was usually amused by the ads and writings on the walls. Some even had pre-recorded messages to entertain you during your nature call. Going to the bathroom was actually as pleasant an experience as you could imagine. And for the ladies who would rather not venture out of their tent at night to do their business, the pee funnel I bought became my new best friend when we were stuck in the car for six hours trying to enter Black Rock City and for the days that followed.


You will bike everywhere on the playa so do yourself a huge favor and pimp your ride out. That includes soft handles, a good basket, hardy wheels, and the comfiest seat you can find. Trust me, your ass will thank you after the first day. The bike situation was what fretted me the most because I'm too petite for many standard adult sizes, but A.'s sister pulled through with a girl bike that I was able to get around in. Granted, it still could have been smaller (as is most things with me) and I probably wouldn't have been so opposed to biking around at night if I felt more confident in it, but when a middle-of-the-night prank had me thinking that someone had stolen my bike, I thought for sure my trip was ruined. Since then, I always locked my bike day and night (it's less for theft out there and more so someone doesn't mistakenly bike off with it) and might add on training wheels the next time around to help me bust through the soft dust. Ain't no shame!

Speaking of dust, you'll either learn to just become one with the thing or try hard to keep your belongings as clean as possible. The latter will be mostly futile (but it helps to package outfits into separate Ziploc bags). As soon as you step foot on your camp location and begin setting up, you will be covered in it. I'd return from a night out on the playa and my hair looked like I'd aged 50 years in one hour. It was fantastic. The alkaline dust will seriously dry out your skin so keep a giant bottle of lotion on hand and wipe off with vinegar to balance out the PH level and keep your hands and feet from cracking. Vinegar will also help get the dust off your clothes when you return home and dump half the desert into your washing machine.

You'd think that after a week of baking in the sun everyone and everything around you would reek - yourself included - but nope! We were meticulous about "bathing" with baby wipes a few times a day and apart from the time spent in the tent each blazing morning, we hardly sweated. It was so hot, the sweat would just evaporate right off of you. That's why it's so important to stay hydrated and follow the motto: piss clear. A Camelbak ensures that water is always within reach. I'm sad to note that my water consumption has absolutely tanked since returning to the city, but maybe if I start carrying my backpack around and turn the blinking el-wire on at night drinking water will be fun again.


As for other comforts, remember that not only is this a community built on self-reliance and self-expression, but also inclusion and participation. Some people go the "roughing it" route while others go all out for Burning Man, bringing in air conditioned RVs and mobile oases to the desert and it's up to each person to bring whatever will make their burn. Some will argue that these luxurious comforts are what's steadily killing the vibe each year, but who really cares? In the end, everyone's just out for a grand time and you're the one responsible for creating the experience you seek.

For more information on Burning Man and how to prepare for a fantastical trip to Black Rock City, I encourage you to read the Burning Man survival guide, learn the Ten Principles, and join this awesome Facebook group to have your questions answered by season burners.

Burning Woman


I'm back from Burning Man and have been wishing I were back on the playa all week long. It was one of the most special experiences I've ever been a part of and am at a loss for words to properly describe this magical event, this DIY Disney Land on Drugs. After A. returned from his first burn last year I gave him crap for barely taking any pictures for me to see. Now I understand.


While there, I felt this happy calm and quickly forgot about whatever could be going on beyond Black Rock City, Nevada. I didn't know what time it was, I couldn't be bothered to pull out my phone to check, and without any service or Internet connection, I was truly able to let go of all those obsessive habits. But it went deeper than just disconnecting from Gmail and social media because I also found myself letting go of the negative parts of my personality like worries, stubbornness, and judgments. I was in this amazing space that nurtured creativity, community, sharing, and joy. I wanted to experience it completely. It was liberating to roam around in whatever attire I wanted (or even none at all) and do whatever simply because it made me happy and seeing others do the same for themselves kept feeding into that pot.


The place is big. If you ever attend, this will be the understatement of the year as "big" cannot begin to describe this. I wasn't prepared to have my mind blown after biking out for more than a mile into the middle of the desert and still seeings lights from our city of 70,000 twinkling in the distance, pulsating 'til the dawn. I found myself amused by a constant stream of whimsy: hula hoops that radiated with streams of light, makeshift slides from construction tubing, howling at the setting sun, screaming in the deep playa, quiet pockets right in the middle of the mayhem, so much music, fire!, night skydivers who'd leave a streak of sparks across the inky sky.

"And to think we're in just one desert...in one state...in one country…on Earth," I marveled one night. "I feel so small."


But it was powerful to know that somehow I helped create this. We all did. The people of Black Rock City are the ones who make it the Wonderland I found it to be. We're kind to each other, we care for our shared spaces. Artists share openly without receiving any compensation in return save for the delight felt by those who gather around their work. I felt like Alice stumbling upon one random curiosity after another. Instead of ever satiating my craving, it made me want more. For nights we'd walk though dust storms and a parade of LED-lit wanderers, searching and searching for everything. I wanted it all, I wanted to devour the place. All my life I'd kept my soul from playing without my own judgement, from being whatever the hell it wanted to be and now here I stood completely famished before this beautiful feast for the heart. I wanted to explode. I cried instead.


I had finally found a place so nurturing to how carefree I wish I were in the real world that I didn't want to leave. I needed to run around, inhabit all this space. My usually socially-anxious self had no qualms about saying hello to the strangers walking alongside me and asking them how their burn was going. After going in for a shower at a nearby camp, I immediately grabbed the soap and hose to help wash up the other dusty playamates lined up behind me. Feeling rejuvenated after such a refreshing break from the heat, we all danced in the nude.

"What do you want to leave in the temple," A. asked the night before this year's space was to be set on fire.

"I want to burn everything. I want to start over."


We'd been taking such good care of each other, being gentle, loving, and kind that I wanted so much to bring it back home with us and didn't want my hang-ups to screw it all up in the real world. I felt such joy and peace just by breathing that I wanted to stay huddled in this bubble of unconditional acceptance. It would be hard to return without my insides feeling so different.

We never did watch the temple burn. The threat of an impending storm had most of us packing up early to avoid the city's shutdown Monday afternoon. But as I stood on the roof of the car trying to catch a glimpse of the flames from the road miles away, I told myself that I didn't have to leave the principles learned out on the playa behind nor did I have to wash off the person I became along with the dust. I was her there and so I still am her everywhere.

{Happy Friday} Philly, L.A., and Burning Man Prep



I feel all kinds of discombulated, guys. See I've been wanting to tell you a bit about my weekend trip to Philadelphia last weekend, but I've been in Los Angeles this week waiting for A. to arrive tonight so we can prep for Sunday's drive to Burning Man. Too much! But here's a little quick peek nonetheless.

The main reason why we decided to drive down was so A. could see his team, the Dodgers, take on the Phillies and do some exploring while we were there. I hadn't been to the area in more than five years while I was still dating Mr. First and always thought that returning to Citizens Bank Park would bring back memories of attending those games with him. Well nothing bubbled up. I enjoyed the games (the Dodgers won on Saturday and on Sunday I cheered for my former Phillies crush Cole Hamels) and the meandering strolls through the downtown area taking note of the places where our country took shape.


We also enjoyed stumbling upon random art like the buildings along South Street completely covered in hodge podge mosaics that led us to Magic Gardens. Unfortunately for us, it was closed for a private event when we passed by, but the labyrinth is made from a colorful (and somewhat inexplicable) collection of found objects, glass bits, mirrors, and painted tiles. The exterior of this sculpture garden offered so much to take in, I can only imagine what a trip the interior must be.


A. and I then took a little snack break at Tattooed Mom where we snacked on waffle fries, pineapple juice, and Dum Dum lollipops while we cuddle on the couch and wondered what on Earth was going on with the restaurant's window displays.


Sunday found us roaming around early in search for activities and food. See, aside from baseball and lunch with friends at the Continental on Saturday, we really had no itinerary planned. The night before we walked back to our hotel room at the Wyndham, giggling while I tried to follow the sidewalk footprint decals placed outside the National Museum of American Jewish History for its exhibition on Ezra Jack Keats' The Snowy Day. Instead of going back out for drinks and mayhem, we tucked in for the night and enjoyed some bad cable TV (like Catfish!) before falling asleep on two separate full beds. It was bliss and honestly, I don't think I'd be mad if that was ever implemented in my marriage.


For Sunday brunch, A. and I wandered through the Headhouse Square Farmers' Market before sitting down at Bridget Foy's down the block where I ordered this banana and cream cheese stuffed French toast. He chose the white egg omelet with roasted tomatoes, turkey bacon, smoked gouda, and avocado crema.


Okay why is it that no matter what I order or how delicious it might seem, I always end up wanting A.'s dish instead? Without fail! After brunch we hopped on a bus and headed back to the ballpark to catch another game before heading back to NYC and continue the final bits of our Burning Man prep.

So I've been in L.A. for the past three days running errands and gathering the camping supplies we'll need for the week-long trip. Confession: the closer it gets to Sunday the more nervous I'm getting. Not just because it's Burning Man and from everything I've heard and read, it's NO JOKE, but also because I'll be traveling to No Joke Burning Man with my boyfriend. This is going to be one hell of a journey for us and I'm anxious to see how we nurture and help each other when stress and discomforts are flying at us for a week straight. See you all on the other side.

Excitement

The closer it gets to head off to Burning Man, the more excited I become. I can't believe it's only two weeks until I set foot on the dusty playa and ask myself, "What the hell did I get myself into?" A. and I have already started preparing for the trip and while he just needs to gather the things he acquired for last year's burn, I've had to buy them for the first time. This includes goggles and a face mask for the dust storms, bandanas, a Camelbak to help me stay hydrated throughout the day, lights to stay safe and glowing while biking at night, appropriate shoes (I got these), and even a pee funnel. Before you ask, just understand that I'm not trying to make my way out of our tent, into the darkness, and to the port-o-potties if I have to pee in the middle of the night. Not happening.

Luckily, A. and his sister have amassed most of the camping gear we will need for our week-long stay in the desert including bikes to travel around Black Rock City, but he and I still need to buy toiletries, food, water, a larger tent, and a comfy air mattress to sleep on. I'm sure we'll come to appreciate the little comforts when we drag ourselves to bed exhausted from a long day. I also need to remember that while it might be blazing hot during the day, temperatures plummet at night so a winter coat will be packed in, too. If I have time, I might decorate it in some way, but I've yet to think of how and I don't want my usual fashion mantra, comfort over style, to make me feel underdressed for this occasion.

But that doesn't mean I haven't given any thought at all to costumes. I recently bought a black tutu for the rest of my bee costume and to rock on Tutu Tuesday. Guys, there's a Tutu Tuesday! I think I'm going to love this place. I'm also considering dusting out my floral cocktail dress to attend the Alice in Wonderland Tea Party event there. One can only imagine what that'll be like (live human croquet will be involved), but I'll be sure to return with a full report. There's really an endless string of events, camps, and parties so I hope I can keep up with the madness and not want to knock out at 11pm like I usually do.

Aside from all the partying I'll be doing, there's also a more serious moment I'm looking forward to while I'm there: visiting the temple. I've no idea what this year's design will look like because I want to be blown away when I see it firsthand. I still have to gather the items, thoughts, notes, or whatever symbols I'd like to leave there to burn when the week is over. I'll probably get emotional once I enter the temple and sit and think about the things I'd like to bury in the dust, but I'll be glad to have a hand to hold while I let those bits go.

What would leave to burn if you were visiting the temple?

Image: medium.com