American Eagle Outfitters Campaign Gets Real

Have you seen American Eagle Outfitter's new aerie campaign? The brand's lingerie collection has launched its own "real women" movement à la Dove by featuring models without airbrushing away blemishes, stretch marks, tattoos, folds or other "imperfections. Granted, the young women they chose are still gorgeous, but at least the the company is featuring them just as they are without making them look even more unrealistic like the lingerie models we're used to seeing.

While I get that lingerie companies like Victoria's Secret and Agent Provocateur aren't just selling a product, but also an ideal sex image to go with it, when a company's target audience are teens still learning to love the skin they're in, it's important to show them the difference between what's natural and what's manufactured in ad campaigns. How powerful would it be if they could see the before and after images side by side? Even better: if society just moved past this need for perfection and the unrealistic expectations placed on women and their bodies altogether.

A few nights ago I stumbled upon Hungarian musician Boggie's music video for her latest song "Parfüm." You might not understand a word and she just sits in place through the entire piece, but watch as her video editor retouches her skin, eyes, and hair and gradually transforms the singer from what she normally looks like into a "picture perfect" star. It's crazy how retouching can make any imperfections disappear, leaving our young to believe that this is how some people wake up in the morning. And not just young women, but adults, too. According to a study conducted by cereal brand Special K for its Fight Fat Talk campaign, 93 percent of women participate in fat shaming and making negative remarks about their own bodies. Some do it because "they feel it's better to criticize themselves before others do so" while others admitted to engaging in fat talk when their friends do and not bothering to change the conversation when the shaming goes on.

So you have to think: when and how did we learn this? Why do we think it's okay to tear ourselves apart and convince ourselves we're just not pretty enough?

P.S. Dove debuts short film "Selfie."

Images: ae.com/aerie

Sometimes It's Okay to Quit

Last week, as I left my therapists office, she said something that resonated with me in the days that followed.

"If you really wanted it, wouldn't you have done it already?"

She was referring to all the goals I keep going on about, always complaining about why my dreams haven't come true yet and the issues that I still haven't managed to overcome. She was right, if I really wanted these things as much as I keep saying I do, then why haven't I done them by now?

As I walked out and made my way back home I considered how tired she must be of hearing all my reasons for not changing my circumstances. Here I am blaming her for not directing me through my life choices instead of just taking responsibility or taking action myself. There's only so much she can do. She can help me figure out the root of my insecurities, the why behind my flaws, but she can't live my life for me. If I want to feel better, that's going to be all on Dorkys.

So I became a quitter because after a while you just get tired of yourself, you know?

I quit being scared of what could happen if I make a decision - any decision. I'm working on not going to everyone for advice instead of trusting my own tastes. If I like something and it makes me happy then that's what I'll go with. Feedback is great and I'll still seek out intelligent criticisms, but gone are the days when other's opinions automatically override my own. People pleasing hasn't brought me too far because I'll just never make everybody happy. That's quite all right. It makes the decision-making stages go by a lot quicker when each draft doesn't need to be approved by so many.

Last Thursday, I woke up and without giving it another thought I registered my limited liability company with the state. I'd been talking about it for so long that I needed to finally shut the hell up and bring to life the little dream that will not die - managing my own creative business. I'll be doing a soft launch of holiday cards soon and then prep for a 2013 debut. So stay tuned for updates on that journey as I figure it all out.

I also quit being so wrapped up in my hair. There's no reason why I should hold on so tightly to something that'll eventually grow right back. I've been wanting a different look, but the thought of ending up with a botched cut was enough to keep from taking the leap. So after hearing enough excuses about why I should just settle for how I am despite being unhappy with it, I'd had enough and made an appointment with Bumble and bumble (asking for the best curly hair stylist they had because, I said, "I don't want to be traumatized."). The experience turned out to be really pleasant and Carrie knew just what to do. Each snip had a purpose and she skillfully worked and styled my hair until I walked out with a bouncy head of curls instead of the mop I had before. I've finally found someone who won't make me anxious when she approaches with the scissors.

A. was pushing for me to keep my long locks, but I knew I wanted to chop it off so shorter I went. Once he saw the final result and how awesome I looked rocking out to a MarchFourth Marching Band show that night, he was happy I did, too. Want to see?

Now don't think that it's been an overnight transformation over here. I still stumble. I still have the urge to ask someone what they think of a design rather than sit down and discover the answer myself. Either way I'm about to get a hands-on crash course in sinking versus swimming when it comes to owning a small business and I'm learning to trust (and hope) that my instincts will guide me well.

Image: etsy.com

Do You Have a Hard Time Accepting Compliments?

Can you believe I'm 30 years old and still have trouble graciously accepting a compliment sometimes? If someone compliments my clothes, my shoes, my bag, or even my hair, I say thank you and keep the conversation flowing without dwelling on it too much. But if someone compliments me on my body, facial features, or my character, I get so flustered. Like I don't know what to do with that piece of information so my reaction is to turn the spotlight back onto the other person.

I either don't believe what they say because I'll immediately combat their kindness with a self-criticism or feel that accepting their compliment would make me seem conceited. So I try to lessen this "burden" they've placed upon me by sharing a compliment as a reflex. It might not always be genuine; I just want the attention off me and quickly.

According to Dove, which just hosted its 3rd annual Self-Esteem Weekend in Times Square, only four percent of women consider themselves beautiful and 11 percent of girls are comfortable enough to use the word beautiful to describe themselves. My own views about my appearances vary from day to day. There have been so many times when I hear A. say I'm beautiful and more often than not my initial thought is, "Of course you have to say that, you're my boyfriend" instead of fully believing it with a "Why yes, yes I am." Sometimes I'll respond with a snarky, "I know," but secretly don't always see what he sees. Other times, when he catches me on top of the world, I'll shout it out myself: I'm beautiful!

I'm trying to get better at accepting compliments with grace rather than batting it away. I'm working at accepting that I'm beautiful both inside and out and that it's okay if I live it, believe it, acknowledge it - at all times. Beauty goes far deeper than outer appearance; it's in your bones, the life force that runs through your veins. So even when I'm feeling like crap, even when I'm frustrated with my curls, my tiny frame, my face, my clothes, I have to remember that it's okay because all that stuff is just bonus packaging for where the beautiful pieces of me really exist.

Do you have a hard time accepting compliments or calling yourself beautiful?

Image: nevernevernevergiveup.tumblr.com

{Happy Friday}

And hello from Connecticut! I'd like to say that I've done nothing out here but relax and take in the slower pace of living, but The Bantu Girl and I have been busy since Toby and I arrived on Tuesday. Last time I visited, we held a photo shoot for her in her aunt's beautiful handmade lesso dresses and this time we've been pointing the camera on me! Granted, my wardrobe is severely lacking on the stylish front, but it's been such a self-esteem boost to pose and smile and pretend I'm on a runway. Like baBAM! I got this! I can't wait to share some of them with you next week.

Have you ever staged a photo shoot with your friends? It's so nice when the other person is just as into photography as I am so we can both have fun no matter what side of the camera we're on. And bonus: I get to dust off my dresses and heels and practice my makeup techniques with someone who's all about that girly girl stuff.

10 Things from the Renegade Craft Fair 2012

This past weekend I not only got to visit the Renegade Craft Fair in Brooklyn, but also swung by the Brooklyn Flea and the Artists & Flea for a quick bit. Below, 10 things I loved from this year's fair and a few other goods you can still check out in Williamsburg.

1. Handmade ceramic mugs, cups, and vases from Danmade.
2. Dirtsa Studio science-themed pillows caught my eye again at this year's fair.
3. Painted vintage skeleton keys and art prints from Yellow Heart Art.
4. The miniature worlds inside Lisa Swerling’s Glass Cathedrals. (My favorite.)
5. "I'll Cut You" screenprinted tote bags from Earth Cadets. How sweet.
6. Cute and Timid Monsters, each with a personality all their own.
7. Little Hip Squeaks baby onesies, hats, and blankets.
8. I only bought one paper product at the fair: this card from Enormous Champion.
9. More adorable ceramics with painted critters by Abby Berkson.
10. Jessica and Susan Portain not only hand-sculpt intricate food jewelry from polymer clay, but their Polymer Clay Cookbook teaches you how to make many of their creations yourself.

11. Because the venue changed to the blazing hot paths along the East River State Park this year, my friend and I took a break midway to check out the Artists & Fleas a couple blocks away. The indoor market (with air conditioning!) was a welcomed respite from the heat and we ended up having a nice chat and a hand washing by the lovely ladies of Treat Me Bath and Body.

The Renegade Craft Fair might be over (in NYC anyway), but head to Williamsburg for art and vintage goods at the weekly Artists & Fleas as well as the nearby Brooklyn Flea. After a hot afternoon browsing through crafts, I also visited the latter across the street for a tiny blueberry lemon cupcake from Kumquat Cupcakery and a cranberry limeade to wash it down.

Also, our Renegade photobooth pics and 15 other crafty events to note in your calendar.